I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
These tits shall not be calmed
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Randomize
