i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Randomize
