used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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