; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Randomize
