Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
