How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
