How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I am naked and annoyed.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
