but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
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