I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
