Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
