her vagina looked like bernie madoff
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
God, you're like boner-b-gone
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
