So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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