K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
it glows. i had to have it.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
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