im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
if i can run in heels then i can drive
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Randomize
