the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Randomize
