He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
