I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
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