u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Two words: blizzard sex
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
