I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Randomize
