Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
That was an excessively violent trivia night
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Randomize
