he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
