hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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