I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
