I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
That's when you crack a 10am beer
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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