No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
