Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
i dont even know how to be here
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
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