Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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