I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
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