DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
