Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
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