I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
