SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Randomize
