we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Randomize
