I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
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