So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize