Non-Jews are for practice
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
