god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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