we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize
