I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
