i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
