She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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