We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Randomize
