I think this baby is eyeing my beer
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
