put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
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