i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
