apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize