just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
do nipples grow back?
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