she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I have demons in me.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Randomize
