Your tits are I can't wait for
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
Randomize
