just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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