for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
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