I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
