the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
