I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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