Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
he shaved USA in his pubs
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
