If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Randomize
