But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
