I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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