I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
