ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
