Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
