Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
