forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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