I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Randomize
