Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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