Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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