She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
